Back again....? or maybe not...

Well.. Here I am again.. re-open a blog I once created just to forget a guy.. 1 other (random) guy.. In which makes me realise that... I've been through quite alot of heartbreaks.. and I'm not even sure which is the one that really broke my heart. I was sad, angry, devastated because I was really heartbroken or... just too stubborn and pathetic to admit that I can't keep a guy?
Hi! I'm Junghye (alias), 32 years old, divorced, from a city full of lights, hidden sex & $$$. Have a family, just like the show "The Godfathers" (described by an ex in-law), complicated, full of zest and all tryin to show loves in all kind of differents and crazy ways. Mind me, in my family, Crazy = Insane. Sanity is definetely not in anyone of our dictionery. Slogging my life right now in a industry that the country are fighting for. Everyones needs 'it'. Some even started a war with the hidden reason of wanting 'it'. Studied a totally different industry though. A tiny little wages that cannot even fullfill my loves for food. Tagging along, a boy who practically has the whole of my heart and soul that I'm too scared to have him by my side. Not too cool yah?
Well, I got my inspiration to have this "column" from seeing too much (I believe) of Sex and the City. Maybe I'm trying to be a "Miranda" though hoping to have the life of "Samantha", wishing to be like "Charlotte" and eventually, truely wants to be a "Carrie". And after season 2 ep 8, I start to wonder, "Would I feel better, think clearer, be happier, if I put all my thoughts down, non-verbally?
I cannot express myself very well, verbally. As I grow older, I started to think too much, bother too much on how I express myself to others. Did I speak clearly? Was the words clear? Isit undersandable? Did I use my words rightly? What about my grammar? Do I sound stupid? Pronouncation? Blah blah blah...! Continously goes through my mind... Unbelievable... And then... I got distracted. By other unimportant matters.. Or maybe, what goes through my mind is as unimportant. I do not know. What is important and what is not? How do you actually defien that? Who defines it? You? Me? Father? Sister? O.. the MOTHERS? Brothers? or friends?
Too many, too much, too distracted, too confused, to complicated.. from here, I'm just gonna put all that down and straighten it up as it goes. Anyone onboard with me?

♥ Always.. Tattoo in my heart... ♥

Jordin Sparks - Ta...

The words in the songs... says lots about how I feel... for him.....

>> No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
Keep my hand in the fire,
Sooner or later I get what I'm asking for
No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed the truth is a
Stranger soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free to..
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry bout everything I done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once Needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo I'll always have you
I'll always have you

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It’s not bout taking sides
When I looked in the mirror,
It didn't deliver, it hurt enough to think that I could stop
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I got to be strong and leave you behind

If I live every moment,
Won't change any moment,
There's still a part of me in u
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do.